Are You Feeling the Itch?

I leapt for joy last Sunday, walking through the beauty of Seattle’s Arboretum.  I was so happy to be out of the hot humidity of Nashville in July.  No wonder people move here, I thought: majestic mountains, ocean breezes, fabulous food, and amazing architecture.

But that night, a friend  who had just moved to San Fransisco from Seattle said, “Yeah, Seattle’s great early July to early October, but before and after that?  Gray, gray and more gray.  People stay inside, they don’t want to connect.”  Yes, but San Francisco’s expensive,I thought.  And what about the earthquakes?  Scientists say it may just drop into the sea one day.

I’ve been trying to recruit some dear friends to Nashville from Vermont.  They’re  tired of the long New England winters, but don’t like Nashville’s hot summers, tornados or crazy legislature.  I loved my time in New Mexico recently, but would miss the green of Tennessee and proximity to my family if I ever moved.

So, what’s the upshot?

No place is perfect.
And likewise?
No job is perfect.
No relationship is perfect.
No house is perfect.
No friend is perfect.
No pet is perfect.

We pick what seems to suit us best.  We take the job that feels like it offers the greatest benefits at the time, choose the relationships we hope will make us happy, buy the house that has the most to offer in our price range.

Then, if we are positive people, we try to focus on all the good stuff – not what’s wrong or missing.

But does this mean you have to “settle”?  No.

Does this mean you’re “stuck” with your choice?  No.

Life changes, your interests and perspectives develop, your relationship might take a turn, your finances shift, the place you are living might be growing in a direction you don’t like.  As things start to swing from one direction to another, you may begin to get that itch that you want to move on.

But before you go chasing something that sounds great.  STOP and CONSIDER.

What am I seeking?

Try to identify that itch:
Am I unhappy with where I live?
Or is it my relationship?
Do I still love my job but miss my family? 

You might not quite know, that’s okay, this exercise works whether you are clear on what’s bothering you or not.  Just pick one.

And then ask yourself: What are my criteria for what I want?
(Not your spouse’s, your parents’, or your friends’ )

Make a list.  If you think you might want to move, for instance, your list might look something like this:

• By the ocean
• Close to family
• Art community
• Job opportunities
• Sunny weather
• Great museums
• Close to the airport
• More urban than rural
• Low cost of living
• Low crime

Now put these in order of what’s important to you.

If being close to your family is really important, but you can do without great museums, then put family at the top of the list.  If you are dying for a new job, but where you live has very little opportunity, put that near the top.  The list I made is generic, some lists will be very specific.  Good.  The more you know what you want, the easier it is to get it.

After making your list, you might find the place you live is fine.  But you want another job.

Make another list.

Write your criteria and then feel out whether you might be able to reach these goals with the career you already have, or whether you need to jump start into another way of making a living (see my upcoming webinar series on this!).

You can do this with any and all areas of your life.

So, next time you have a sense of wishing you were living somewhere else, loving someone else, working another career, think first “What are my CRITERIA?”  And make a list.

Who knows?  This list could take you to the high desert of New Mexico, the waterfront of the Pacific Northwest or to Music City, the most fabulous place on earth.  Just ask me.  Except for having to beat back the heat in July, it meets all of my criteria.

YIPPEE!

Elizabeth