In Uncategorized, What's Holding You Back?

You know that voice in your head that casts doubt:

What made you think you could do that?
Doing that would be irresponsible, lazy, crazy, impossible, impractical, stupid, risky, dangerous…
You’re dreaming if you think you could…

So and so has so much more experience and knows more.
You can’t do that, because…
You don’t know enough… have enough time… it’s too late….

We listen to that voice a lot.  It gets lots of exercise.  The voice may be from a parent, teacher, sibling, friend, coach or some other person we value.  Or it might be a voice you developed in response to some really bad times and heavy disappointments. There’s skepticism or disapproval in the voice. Even if the person or situation is long gone, we’ve incorporated the voice in our heads, and it pops up again and again.

There’s a phrase I use for that negative voice in your head, I have mentioned it before….

It’s Your Triple J’s
The Triple J is Your Jury, Your Judge and Your Jailer.

Your Jury hears the evidence against your dreams and ideas.
Your Judge makes a ruling and condemns your thoughts and dreams.
Your Jailer puts you behind bars, limiting your ability to act out your dreams.

Your Triple J’s literally condemn you then “lock you up” with your fears. These fears convince you that, not only are you definitely NOT up to the challenge, but your goal may not really be that important.

The Triple J is NOT to be taken lightly. We don’t want to make it any stronger, it’s strong enough. The Triple J will always be whispering. Our job is to listen to what it’s saying—to become fully conscious of that unconscious voice.  Then discern what is really true.

Runaway truck lane

Your Triple J’s Are Like A Runaway Truck

Have you ever been driving on a highway where your car goes downhill without you even touching the accelerator?  You see caution signs for trucks because anything that heavy can build so much momentum it goes completely out of control. Luckily there are uphill runaway ramps that  slow the truck down so the driver can regain control.

Your Jury, Judge and Jailer are like a runaway truck. They can build up so much momentum leaving you accelerating so quickly downhill with no emergency brake powerful enough to stop you without causing a huge accident.  You must build your own runaway ramp for your Triple J to avoid being taken off the road and landing in a ditch.

How To Build Your Triple J Off Ramp
Ask Questions. Asking questions forces you to slow down, take a breath and think clearly so you can increase your YIPPEE.

Ask yourself these questions to stop any of Your Runaway Triple J’s:

  1. What am I trying to accomplish?  Or what is the outcome I want to achieve?
  2. What am I afraid of?
  3.  Do I have resources/support (both internal and external) to help me?
  4.  Is it worth facing my fears?
  5. What would your wise inner coach have to say?

Asking these questions when you get stuck is a powerful tool for keeping your Triple J’s from running away with your ideas and dreams. Let me know how it works for you!

Until next time,


Showing 2 comments
  • Pat

    Thanks Elizabeth, another great description of our gremlin-y monkey mind. It seems a good idea to shut up our jury at that time to prevent this self talk from ever getting to the judge and especially to the jailer. I do with is with support from any place I can find it…family, friends, those involved in my business. I just make sure they are the positive judges.

    • elizabeth

      Thanks Pat. Good advice, especially the part about “good judges”. There are dream killers out there and they may be disguised as friends.

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