How to Escape the Trap of Absolutes

This bed is too hard.  This bed is too soft.  But this bed is just right.

Recently, I lost an engagement to another consultant.  Never mind that I had mixed emotions about working with the company.  There were lots of good reasons I was better off not working with them.  But I was, nevertheless, brought up short by their choosing someone else.

Part of me was hurt, another part wanted to scold, reminding me of all the ways I had fallen short.  As I reflected, I realized I was being too hard on myself.  The truth is I AM really good at what I do.  My relationships with clients extend over many years.  Not only that, they send me referrals, which is the highest praise of all.

Now at this point, it would have been tempting (and understandable) to say: Don’t worry kid, that was just one engagement and you didn’t really want them.  But that would have been too soft.

The other truth is there are new tools I want to add to my work, and well, I’ve just been too busy.  In some ways, losing this engagement is a good wake up call.  It’s time to take action and I have.

It’s the YES, AND approach.

Yes, I am very good at what I do AND there are areas I need to improve.
Yes, I am generous AND there are times I don’t feel or act with generosity.
Yes, I have self-discipline AND there are areas where I struggle.

YES, AND creates the opportunity to accept good, AND to admit there is room for improvement.  It frees us from the absolutes of good or bad, hard or soft, creating the opening for just right.

Let me know where you are using YES, AND to discover just right.

Until next Tuesday,

Elizabeth