We live in a fix-it culture. Advertising, educators, the web all seem to be sending out the same subliminal message: there’s something wrong with you, and you need to fix it.
If you tend to pay attention to your failures rather than celebrate your successes, you are not alone.
Too many of us keep track of times we:
- Failed to stick with our meditation/diet/exercise routine
- Were overlooked for meetings/promotions/invitations
- Missed opportunities to ______ (you fill in the blank) – ask a question, meet someone important, visit an art exhibit that was closing
- Ignore our own intuition
The truth is, we ALL have times when we fail, miss, ignore.
AND, we all have times when we succeed, get promoted, take advantage of opportunities, follow our intuition.
Which are you paying attention to?
If you’ve ever bought a new phone, gotten a tattoo, or been pregnant, you will know the power of paying attention. Immediately, you start noticing everyone who has the same phone. You see people with tattoos you never noticed, and surely there must be a baby boom in process because you see pregnant women everywhere. Of course there aren’t magically more phones, tattoos and babies. It just seems that way because you’re paying attentionto those things.
The same thing happens when we keep track of our shortcomings. Make a list of your mistakes and you will start finding more and more…. Focus on what’s NOT working in your life, your job, your relationship, and you will gather enough evidence to convince yourself that you are a hopeless case!
Focusing on our shortcomings never leads to success (or happiness). The more we focus on where we fail, the more likely we are to repeat. And repeat.
So like the old song says, ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE.
Be curious.
For the next week, notice what you’re good at, what worked, really hearpeoples’ compliments. For a few minutes before you crawl into bed at night, write down what worked, what was successful, what you feel good about. They don’t have to be big.
After you write each one down, shout a small YIPPEE!
Post-it: Put them somewhere you will see them – bathroom mirror, office cubicle, refrigerator.
How do you make sure you accentuate the positive? Can’t wait to hear!!
Until next Tuesday – YIPPEE!
Elizabeth
That’s a great post and it matches a corollary I have learned from kayaking and mountain biking: Look where you want to go…NOT where you don’t want to go. If look at the ditch in the middle of tight turn, you are bound to end up in it.
You are so right. Same applies to skiing, not closing a deal etc. Thanks for you comment.