At a business conference last week, a colleague I see only twice a year asked me, “Are you over it yet?”
I was speechless. She was referencing the loss of my husband this past March.
Was I over it yet?
The question was shocking. Of course I wasn’t over it. Grieving the loss of a loved one is a natural, indeed necessary, process to moving forward.
However, when I thought harder about it, I realized that this might actually be a powerful and appropriate question to ask ourselves about more benign losses or disappointments.
Am I over:
Being passed over for a promotion that was rightfully mine?
Feeling slighted when a friend betrayed my trust?
Being blamed for something that wasn’t my fault?
It’s okay to get angry. It’s alright to seek remedies. We may be successful or we may not. But when we continue to seek an apology, validation, and recognition that we were right – this can lead us on a vain search to nowhere.
Holding onto anger and resentment doesn’t serve us. The holding on keeps our hands tied and our attention focused on the injury instead of on what we could learn from it. When we stay angry, we fail to pay attention to what action steps we can take to get what we most want in our lives.
So, there are times to go easy with yourself when grieving and there comes a time to ask yourself: Am I over it yet? Is holding on keeping me stuck, instead of moving forward?
What are you ready to be over? What do you need to do so you can answer “Am I over it yet?“ with a resounding YES!?
Let me know!
Until next Tuesday,